Hate Crimes Should Be Designated National Treasure...Republcan Congressman states

Funny story written by b kenneth mcgee

Sunday, 25 October 2009

Congressman John Boehner of Ohio stated today on the House floor that there was no need to include sexual orientation in the Hate Crimes bill. "Our country has a long and proud history of hate crimes" Boehner said. Joined by other members of the leadership the following statement was issued:

We have a long and proud history of hate in this country from the first days that our ancestors landed on these shores. First it was the Indians...when the rallying cry was... "The only good Injun is a dead Injun" Those were the days when men were men and....women were glad of it. Then all kinds of people began to come here and we had the Irish to hate...the Italians to hate...and the Jews...heck that was a slam dunk......everyone hated the Jews..hated them ever since God put man on earth two thousand years ago. When we needed more people to hate...we bought the negroes and brought them here to be slaves. Some of our best days were after the damn Yankees freed them...and hate was more popular than moonshine.

Well...we have given until it hurts. It was bad enough when the original Hate Crimes bill was passed and protection was given based on race creed, and gender. NOW...the damn government wants to protect the Homos! Enough is enough! When the day comes we cannot hate Homos...it is time to take our country back. We will therefore propose legislation that makes Hate Crimes a National Treasure....to be protected and honored by all. It is time to keep our heritage alive......and....It is time, once again for REAL "Americans to stand up and step up...get your signs...your placards, your guns, and your little children, come to Washngton and tell America...Hate is back...alive and well. All we are saying is give hate a chance.

The press conference closed with a group of T-Baggers and Birthers joining hands while Anna Mae McCorkle of Louisburg, NC sang a song written especially for the occasion by her husband T.J. McCorkle. As the strains of... Hate is A Terrible Thing To Waste.....wafted through the air....the crowd slowly dispersed with red faces, clenched fists, and a few small crying children in tow.

But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 19:14 ...

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more