WASHINGTON - President Barack Obama has just been notified that he has been awarded the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize.
He instantly said that although he greatly appreciates the gesture he is still mainly focused on the horrible state of the nation's economy.
The president stated that he has decided to take the prestigious prize and put it up on eBay. He added that 100% of the proceeds that he receives from its sale will be placed into the Presidential Stimulus Package Program Fund.
He also remarked that he would encourage past recipients of the coveted prize to follow his lead and also place their Nobel Peace prizes on eBay.
President Obama said that he asks that the checks be sent to President B. Obama, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Washington D.C. Attention: Michelle Obama.
The president said that he has named his lovely, sleeveless, wife to head up the Presidential Stimulus Package Program Fund Receiving Department.
Nobel Peace Prize Committee Chairman Thorbjoern Jagland of Japan said that this years race was a close one. But that in the end the President of the greatest nation in the history of the world won out.
Jaggy, as his friends call him, said that there were three factors that clinched the NPP (Nobel Peace Prize) for President Obama. One, was for his brilliant Stimulus Package Program, which has kept hundreds of bank CEO's, Presidents, and major stockholders from having to file for personal bankruptcy.
Two, was the president's tremendously successful 'Cash For Clunkers" proposition, which helped to take literally thousands of pieces-of-sh*t cars off of America's streets and put them down on the streets of Guatemala, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, and Uruguay.
And third, was his fabulously humanitarian project idea known as Hey Guys, Let's Build Affordable Homes For The Homeless.
This neat project helped to get thousands of homeless people off the dangerous street corners and put them in extremely decent homes which there is no way they can afford.
Ving Ming Dong of Greenland, who is the official spokesperson for the Nobel Prize Committee said that the second place finisher for the Nobel Peace Prize was North Korea's Kim Jong Il. Dong added that Jong Il was awarded the runner-up Nobel Peace Goody
Kim Jong Il managed to capture second place because of the fact that in the true interest of world peace and harmonious harmony he had not launched a missile in the past two weeks.
The third place Nobel Peace Trinket went to Cuba's former Presidente (President) Fidel Castro for going quietly into peaceful retirement.
The three Nobel recipients Obama, Jong Il, and Castro will all appear on a special edition of The Jay Leno Show next week.