Kanye West's Record Company Fires Him

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 7 October 2009


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Chitlins Kirkland, lead singer with the hip-hop band Bros 2 Big Bros.

ATLANTA - Kanye West, one of the most infamous hip-hop, rip-rap rappin' rappers of all time, has been let go by his record company Broken Records.

West who lately has been in more newspapers that the pollen count charts expressed utter disbelief at his termination.

Broken Records spokesperson Figgy Fontana, 49, said that the record label had just decided to go in a different direction.

Fontana said that West's little boy tantrum at the MTV Music Video Award Show where he ran up on stage and took Taylor Swift's microphone out of her hand had absolutely nothing to do with his firing.

He then thought about it and added, "Well perhaps just a little bit, but only a little bit, oh hell, let's call a spade a spade, I mean let's put all our cards on the table."

Fontana took a sip of his Vodka Sundowner and said that Mr. West had not only embarrassed himself but he had embarrassed the entire Broken Records family.

Company CEO, Felisha Felano (age unavailable), said that since Kanye's outburst Broken Records stock has gone from $16.74 a share to $1.02 a share.

She added that several of their top acts had opted to get out of their recording contracts. Among these acts were The Rappin' Rappahannock Sisters, Lady GooGoo, Bros 2 Big Bros, and Snippy Snapp Dogg Biscuit.

Kanye said that he apologized to everyone at the record label through his Twitter account. He said that he even offered to give each member of the Broken Records recording family a $25 gift certificate to KFC.

One of the Broken Records female rappers, U Go Girl, 17, told Kanye that he could take the $25 KFC gift certificate and all the microphones in Atlanta and stick them up his (EXPLETIVE BODY PART DELETED BY EDITOR.)

Even Fox television political commentator Sean Hannity says that he cannot stand Kanye West, or Kanye Pest as he calls him. West replied that Hannity does not like him because he is black.

Hannity reportedly replied that the reason that he did not like him was not because he was black but because he was arrogant, sarcastic, egotistical, despicable, and tyrannical.

West replied that the only reason that he was using those words to describe him was because he was black.

Kanye then said that he had read several books on the American Civil War and he remembers reading that the plantation owners and the overseers were always using those words to describe the slaves.

I would like to thank Broken Record CEO Felisha Felano for kindly giving me the entire 4-CD library of ex-Broken Record recording artist Snippy Snapp Doggy Biscuit.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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