Jon Gosselin Took $230,000 and Left Kate With Just $1,000

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 7 October 2009


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image for Jon Gosselin Took $230,000 and Left Kate With Just $1,000
Kate Gosselin relaxing in her backyard while her kids are inside watching reruns of Hollywood Squares.

LONDON - Kate Gosselin of the TLC Network's reality show Jon and Kate Plus 8 fame confessed to me that her estranged husband has gone into their dual checking account and withdrawn $230,000 of the $231,000.

I asked her what that amount would be in pounds since after all they were in England. Kate replied that she has never really been any good at money conversions.

The shows director Nigel Londonderry handed Evelyn a paper that showed that $230,000 (U.S. dollars) is the equivalent of 144,609.73 (British pounds).

And $1,000 (U.S. dollars) equals to 628.57 (British pounds.) Mrs. Gosselin was asked what her husband did with so much money.

She quickly answered that he used it to basically whore around with some little tarts who were young, nubile, and looking for attention from a reality show dude who has $230,000!

Kate said that she learned from reading the tabloids that her husband, Jon was buying these RSG's (reality show groupies) all kinds of expensive gifts like watches, earrings, bracelets, tattoos, and in one instance a diaphragm.

Evelyn asked the statuesque blonde mother of eight if their show was going to continue being broadcast. She replied that the producers had approached her about dumping Jon from the show and renaming it Jon and Kate Plus 8 Minus Jon.

She said that she agreed to it but Jon got furious when he heard about it and he told the eight kids not to smile when the cameramen were filming them. A close friend of Jon's said that he even told the boys to shoot the finger at the camera.

Kate said that Jon is acting just like a spoiled 3-year-old Korean. She caught herself and said that she didn't mean to say that, she meant to say that he was acting like a spoiled 2-year-old Korean.

The Jon vs. Kate saga continues. It is reported that TLC was paying the couple $75,000 per week. Plus they were paying for all of their food, clothes, toys, beer, and even for Kate's pantiliners.

The British television publication Telly Belly has reported that the TLC network is actually considering firing Jon and Kate and the eight children and replacing them with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and calling the new reality show Brad and Angie Plus 6.

More when we get it.

I would like to thank Spoofer Skoob of Portsmouth, England, for graciously allowing me to use his closing phrase, 'More when we get it.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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