Lindsay Lohan Depressed - Says The Media Is Ignoring Her

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 5 October 2009

image for Lindsay Lohan Depressed - Says The Media Is Ignoring Her
Lindsay Lohan's left boot as it appeared in a recent Maxim Magazine ad.

BEVERLY HILLS - Lindsay Lohan called up Ryan Seacrest and told him that ever since her affair with Samantha Ronson ended no one seems to care about her.

She said that she has fallen into a state of depression and all she wants to do is watch MASH reruns, eat Diet M&M's, and think about when she was Ronson's girlfriend.

Seacrest asked her if she had considered doing something different, like maybe actually making a movie, especially since after all she is an actress.

Lohan said that she had recently been offered the role of MacKenzie Phillips in the movie, MacKenzie Phillips - My Trip Back To Earth.

Lindsay added that Phillips even called her up and told her to go ahead and accept the role. Lindsay replied that although she feels that she is one heck of an actress, she does not feel that she could be believable in the role of someone who has been around more drugs than a Walgreen's druggist.

Lindsay proudly says that she does not do drugs, smoke cigarettes, or eat fried foods. She did say that she still eats carrots while daydreaming about the love of her life S.R.

Lohan did reveal that one day last week she received a very nice email form OctuMom. She said that the mother of 14 told her that she would like for her to watch her 14 kids while she goes out job hunting.

OctuMom offered to pay her $12 an hour. Lindsay told her that she would do it for $6 an hour but the only stipulation is that OctuMom has to mention her full name whenever the media interviews her.

OctuMom agreed.

In other news. Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has just published her 13th book. It is a mystery novel set during the Vietnam War and is entitled, Rice Paddy.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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