Asian Kid Fails Math Test; Geneticists Baffled!

Funny story written by Vondrook

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

New York, NY-- 3rd grade student, Chang Li, has been brought into Mt. Sinai Hospital after receiving a horrific test score presented by his math teacher last week. "His [Chang] test score was far below average," said his Math teacher, Heidi Levingsworth, "I mean, for a white or black kid, sure, the test result might be deemed average, but not for an Asian. There's just no way."

The test in question was based on Chapter 4 of the Shuster text book, "Math & You: Easy As Pi!" Chapter 4 introduced the execution of long division problems, a sure-fire "A" for any Asian child, except for Li.

"It's baffling," said head geneticist Henry Farley, "I looked at this Asian kid sitting in his hospital bed, and the last diagnosis I was going to give him was a bad math grade. I needed to see the test grade to verify."

Extensive tests were run on Li, most of all, to see if he actually is 100% Asian. "Ockham's Razor dictates that there is a simple explanation for this, and the answer could only be that Li must have had some black or white in him somewhere. Maybe his Grandmother, or Great-Great Grandfather met some non-yellow person."

Unfortunately, Li's family tree has been exhaustively researched, and no trace of Western blood can be found. Dr. Farley is hesistant to give Chang's family the results. "I just don't know how to break it to them. I mean, I've once told a black family that their son couldn't dance, but atleast he could still play Basketball." He went on to say, "I guess--I guess I could relate Chang to Neo, the anamoly from the Matrix, except Chang would be the exact opposite of that." He sighed, "I'll tell him that it just doesn't add up, but I doubt he would understand that metaphor."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more