Antioch, Ca - (Reuterus): Anagram conspiracy theorists have seized on the Jaycee Dugard kidnap to decipher karmic messages in the abduction.
"Butter-wouldn't-melt-in-her-ass Nancy Garrido is the real perv," Anagramanonymous.con sources said today, "you've only to rearrange the letters to see what kind of monster is lurking."
Rancid An' Gory, Can Drain An Orgy, A Daring Crony, Iran Gonad Cry, Or Acid Granny and the Lewinsky-esque On Randy Cigar are some of the examples that have nailed the abduction accomplice.
Jaycee's own anagrams only add to the shocking conundrum:
"Daycare Judge, Gaudy Cad Jeer, and Ceded Gay Jury all point to it!" cryptologists explained.
Captor Philip Garrido comes off pretty badly too: Horrid Pig Pail, Paid RIP-Ho Girl, Hairdo Grip Lip, Rapid Hopi Girl, Hail Rigid Prop, Had RIP Oil Grip, "is redolent with clues in this whole sordid business."
Joseph Fritzl = Fresh Zip Jolt.
