White House announces Madoff pardon, position on health panel

Funny story written by NailOnTheHead

Thursday, 20 August 2009

The Obama White House announced a new addition to the newly formed Health Care Special Funding Commission.

In a stunning move, President Obama announced financial wizard Bernie Madoff will be joining a panel of top investment gurus to hammer out a 3200 page report detailing investment recommendations to fund President Obama's new Health Care Reform Initiative.

President Obama pardoned Mr. Madoff shortly before the announcement.

Mr. Madoff's unique investment skills caught the eye of some senior officials in the Obama adminstartion and the President was advised to seek those talents in finding revenue streams to fund the coming decades of baby boomer retirees.

Mr. Madoffs extensive experince with retirement funds helped secure the position along side tax experts like Timothy Geithner. The House is expected to rely on sections of the report and are likely to be included in the coming health bill. A senior official in the Obama White House said Mr. Madoff could "be an asset in the war agaisnt health".

Asked to clarify and expound on the "war agaisnt health" quip by a grinning fox news pundit, Brian Kilmeade, the official shot back defensively:

"You know what I'm saying. Pull your head out."

A senior advisor, John Conyers, noted that the 3200 page report was unlikely to be read entirely, if at all, and he went on to ask if Mr. Madoff would later help with his wife's retirement investment plans.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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