Alligator abandoned after sexual tryst

Funny story written by Frankie The J

Thursday, 13 August 2009

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This sign was erected in Bayo Gauche, LA, after the angry father of a duped alligator was released by Alligator Control

BOUTTE, La. - Terron D. Ingram, 38, of St. Charles Parish, Louisiana, remains in custody following his Friday arrest for, (among other charges) allegedly "being cruel to an alligator, by reason of abandonment." Other charges filed against Ingram included resisting arrest and possession of drug paraphernalia.

St. Charles Parish sheriff's deputies stopped Ingram who was bicycling "down a highway with a three foot long alligator draped upon his shoulders," according to a spokesman for the sheriff's office on Friday, August 7. Deputies claim Ingram then fled on foot, leaving behind his bicycle and his alligator.

"The alligator was crying crocodile tears, and told the deputies that Ingram promised to marry it if it (the poor abandoned gator) would give him a piece of tail," the deputies reported.

An incensed deputy sheriff ran down the callous alligator baiter, threw him roughly to the ground, and nearly shot the pervert before he was restrained by his partner.

No charges of police brutality are expected.

Kenny Schmill, an Alligator Control Officer said he released the alligator into a marsh near Bayou Gauche after blood tests revealed the animal was neither pregnant nor suffering from any sexually transmitted disease.

"Alligators should never accept rides, or promises of marriage, in exchange for sexual favors," said Deputy Dawg, a school safety officer.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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