White House - (Last Chance Saloon Mess): A slight change of plan today resulted in President Obama and his etiquette coach Prof Henry Loose Gates starting with a four bottle advantage over beleaguered Sgt James Crowley of the Cambridge, Massachusetts police department.
The three men were due to sit down on Thursday evening and male-bond in a primetime group hug over a few low alcohol Buds.
However Gates had already begun the day by downing a bottle of Jack Daniels around 7am in the the presidential hospitality limousine that picked him up at the airport.
He was soon joined in the Oval Office green room by President Obama who had finally just cracked Laura Bush's encryptions on the Presidential liquor cabinet.
Six hour later and the all the Jose Cuervo Tequilla was gone along with a quart bottle of Jenna Bush Hager's rattlesnake-infused special wedding vodka, a jeroboam of Dom Perignon 1966 Grands Cuvee and a JFK memorial bottle of Blue Nun.
Sgt Crowley is an ardent teetotaller.