Fawcett to Die Second Time, Say Friends

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Thursday, 2 July 2009

image for Fawcett to Die Second Time, Say Friends
First seance to revive Fawcett's corpse already interrupted by passing of fashion icon Billy Mays.

LOS ANGELES, CA - Completely dissatisfied with the results of Farrah Fawcett's first passing, friends of the beloved actress/model have announced plans to revive her exhumed corpse just long enough that she may die a second time.

Though Fawcett was considered by many to be the last great pinup poster icon, and was a critically acclaimed actress who often took challenging roles, her death at the age of 62 was completely overshadowed by the passing of King of Pop, Michael Jackson.

This time around, say friends, things will be different.

Nevertheless, the road ahead may be paved with difficulty, and challenges have already been faced.

A séance had been arranged just a few short days ago when, their hands scarcely clasped and chanting just getting under way, the group was informed that Billy Mays, the obnoxious oxycleaner from Orange Glo, Florida had just been silenced.

"Damn it!!" cursed Kate Jackson (no relation to Michael), beginning to blow out candles as she burst into tears. "Jacko? Okay, I guess I can understand that one. But eclipsed by a loud, fat guy with a beard, too?? It's too much to bear!"

"I know, right?!" bawled Jaclyn Smith, overcome. "What's next? A dead spoof writer?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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