Monday, 4 May 2009

image for Hard To Starboard (HTS) TV Network Formed

New York NY: Ms. Ann Coulter author and Republican conservative right wing pundit was seen with Jeff Zucker President & CEO of NBC Universal, having a quiet intimate dinner. Observers speculated that there may be some romantic angle here.

However, amore was not the purpose of the dinner meeting. Ms. Coulter, who worked for MSNBC in the 1990's, was there to purchase the Democratic liberal left wing MSNBC TV Network from NBC Universal for an unspecified amount of cash. She was making NBC an offer they could not refuse, as MSNBC ratings are in the toilet. Mr. Zucker already had approval from GE Corporate Management, the parent company, to sell MSNBC to Ms. Coulter.

Observers indicated that Mr. Keith Olbermann and Ms. Janeane Garofalo showed up at the dinner table. A furious argument ensued with Mr. Zucker. There was a lot of screaming, yelling and blue air before the pair absconded via a far left wing exit of the restaurant. Apparently, their jobs are on the line when Ms. Coulter takes over MSNBC.

Rumor has it that Mr. Keith Olbermann will be opening a Wiener Schnitzel Stand on Broadway and 42 Street in Manhattan, with the veal being sold on crumpled paper napkins. Ms. Janeane Garofalo has been hired as an NAACP spokesperson. (Boring Mr. Al Franken has already moved on to a new career as a boorish US Senator from Minnesota.)

The MSNBC TV Network sold to Ms. Coulter will be given a new name, becoming the Hard To Starboard (HTS) TV Network. HTS TV news and analysis programming will be to the right of the Rupert Murdock owned FOX News TV Network.

It is also rumored that Mr. Bill O'Reilly (The Factor) of the FOX News TV Network might jump ship and go with the HTS TV network. Ms. Coulter said "heavens no Bill is too liberal." She added "Jay Leno is not returning my phone calls"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: TV

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