Washington DC - Secret government documentation uncovered by top undercover reporters yesterday, reveals that the United States, in the quest for the "war on terror", invaded the wrong country.
The document, labelled "Top Secret" in bold red letters going diagonal across the A4 sized page with 14pitch Times New Roman font, reveals how the USA made a gigantic error and invaded the wrong country back in 2003.
The Top Secret dossier revealed that the USA was supposed to invade Ireland, but due to sloppy workmanship, the secretary typing the dossier accidentally typed "Iraq". Accordingly, President Bush had been watching a "very terrifying" movie about Leprechauns, starring Jennifer Aniston, and felt after watching it that "it was time to put an end to those leprechauns once and for all."
The next day he made history by announcing the commencement of his war on terror.
Although President Bush realised immediately a mistake had been made, he felt it would have been too embarrassing to pull out of Iraq and invade Ireland thereafter. He decided to think about his options before he made any rash decisions.
Five years, 5,000 lives and $52 billion later President Bush, still "thinking about what to do" stepped down as President. The Top Secret Dossier revealed that Bush left a note with a box of chocolates on Barack Obama's desk just as he was leaving the White House, which read: "Hi Oby, So Sorry to ask you this on your first day but could you please do something about that typing error back in 2003 - we were supposed to invade Ireland, not Iraq. And for God's sake would you do something about those nasty leprechauns; they scare the shit out of me! GB".
President Obama then announced, through gritted teeth, he would be pulling the troops out of Iraq over the next few years.. Plans to invade Ireland have been shelved due to lack of funds.
Leprechauns still run loose in Ireland and other parts of the world.
Monica Lewinsky is 38.