Written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

image for Meghan McCain Has The Biggest Ones In Politics
Meghan McCain sunbathing in the backyard of one of her mommy's seven mansions.

PHOENIX - John and Cindy McCain's little girl, Meghan McCain, 24, is quickly establishing herself as one of the strongest frontrunning future leaders of the Republican Party.

The stunning blonde has recently shown time after time that she is not the least bit hesitant or afraid to go head-to-ego with any of the better known GOP mouthpieces such as Rush "Mushmouth" Limbaugh, Newt "Cabbage Patch Doll" Gingrich, Ann "Trigger Face" Coulter, Laura "The Pastel Princess" Ingraham, or even lightweight Sean "Fred Flintstone" Hannity.

Meghan is a straight-shooting straight shooter who shoots from her good-looking womanly hips and she makes no apologies to anyone.

In a battle of political wits and GOP grappling Meghan has shown that the likes of CoulterGirl, IngrahamGal and LimbaughBoy are no match for the lazer sharp personality of MaidenMeghan.

Several reporters have stated that at a GOP conference in St. Louis last week Meghan got into a heated argument with former Vice-President Dick "The Dick" Cheney.

One well known seasoned midwestern politician laughed and said that before it was all over, Cheney was so tongue-tied that he could hardly speak and he was actually spitting all over himself and one of the ushers.

A few minutes later he dabbed the tears out of his eyes and was seen running towards the nearest men's bathroom.

A few minutes after he returned to his seat, Meghan got right in Dick's face and literally showered him with just about every curse word from A to Z.

One senator almost choked from laughing and said that "Mad Meghan" even made up a few curse words of her own.

Reliable sources stated that when John and Cindy McCain heard about their little girl's thunderous tirade they were so thrilled that they high-fived each other, fist-bumped each other, and immediately called their little Meghan and told her that they were buying her that fully-loaded 2009 Lexus she has been wanting.

Longtime Republican Chuck Norris calls Meghan McCain an absolute breath of fresh air who has drowned out the tired old, hackneyed, same old GOP elephant dropping words and statements that were born out of the loins of the terrible trio, Bush, Cheney, & Rumsfeld, or as Miss McCain refers to them, Moe, Larry, & Curly, aka The Three Stooges.

Recently Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele had an opportunity to chat with Miss McCain in a one-on-one conversation. Steel told her that she really and truly needed to tone down her gung-ho attitude.

Meghan responded by pointing to her crotch region and telling Steele, "Hey, Mr. Obama-wannabe how about you toning down this!"

She then looked Steele right in his eyes and said, "Hey don't mess with me bro, cause I guaran f'in' tee ya, I ain't no anorexic Barbie Doll like Ann "Swizzle Stick" Coulter, and I certainly ain't no pastel personalitiy princess like Laura "Little Louse On The Prairie" Ingraham."

Steele reportedly started weeping and he grabbed his man-purse and ran off to find the nearest little boy's room.

When Meghan was asked what she thought about Sarah Palin she replied, "Well like I mentioned in my book, Gee Opie (GOP) - The Mayberry Republicans. Saracuda is nothing more than a glorified hockey mama who loves to stalk, shoot, skin, and sautee wildlife.

In fact, while we were on the presidential campaign trail back in Novemember, I once overheard "Snowflake" Sarah tell her husband that she wishes that she could grow sideburns, a goatee, and a blank [rhymes with stick].

Todd threw her half a grin, and told her that he just wished that she would do some housework, like washing the dishes, sweeping and mopping the floors, and doing the laundry like a normal woman instead of always running around like some smelly bearded, testosterone-crazed old SOB hunter sitting in his boxer shorts in a deer blind and waiting to ambush some damn caribou, moose, elk, or reindeer.

"Dogsled" Sarah fumed, but did not utter a word.

When Sarah noticed that Meghan had overheard her and Todd's conversation she walked up to her, got in her face, and said, "You never heard this private conversation Missy.

Without missing a beat, Meghan stood up, she got in "Wilderness Woman's" face, pointed to her groin area and said, "Hey, polar bear breath, I got your private conversation right here!"

Sarah started crying. She picked up her frozen Mango Margarita and ran off to find the nearest little girl's room.

In a related story. President Bill Clinton recently said to Wolf Blitzer in an off-the-record conversation, "You know Wolfster, I'm a very happily married man, but if I wasn't I would wanna lock lips with that Meghan gal in a New York minute."

The Wolfster smiled, took a sip of his Tequila Sunrise and replied, "You and me...and about 12 million other red-blooded American guys Billy boy."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Meghan McCain

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