Written by Armedus Chunsky

Monday, 20 April 2009

image for Rep. John Boehner Denies Global Climate Change
"Scientists are unreliable," said Rep. Boehner, "they are wrong about evolution and gravity."

Former U.S. House Majority Leader John Boehner has denied the existence of Climate Change during an interview with George Stephanopoulos, stating that President Bush's energy policy "the right approach on energy." He then suggested invading France to control their nuclear reactors.

"Scientists are unreliable," said Rep. Boehner, "they are wrong about evolution and gravity, and they got in President George W. Bush's way every step of the way. President George W. Bush did the right thing by ignoring the Kyoto Protocol and filling our atmosphere with an all natural gas."

Rep. Boehner also suggested alternative energy solutions, like drilling for oil in the United States. George Stephanopoulos suggested that this proposal would not curb carbon emissions, but Rep. Boehner believed that there was "no need" to stop the emission of carbon into earth's atmosphere.

"How else are we going to run GM's old fossils? We need fossil fuels. Some are suggesting carbon-neutral algae fuels, but the last thing we need in Washington are more scum bags," suggested Rep. Bohner.

George Stephanopoulos still thought that Rep. Boehner was full of hot air and kept probing him, in which Rep. Boehner replied, "you are talking too much, releasing carbon every time you open your big mouth. You journalists should just shut up and let us lead. That is our answer to Climate Change."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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