Male Nurse Not Welcomed Home Again

Funny story written by Vondrook

Tuesday, 17 March 2009

Martin Thomas, 25, of Cheltenham, PA was not given admittance to his parents' home after his announcement to become a male nurse.

Marty, a premature balder, was living in an apartment on the east side of town working as a seafood manager when he decided to further his schooling towards a nursing degree. "There's just so much more out there," he told reporters. "I could be helping injured and sick people instead of de-turding their shrimp."

With a recent enrollment into Drexel University, Marty needed to cut back on his hours at work, and consequently move back in with his parents. Word spread fast through the town however, and Marty was met at his parents' house with a new lock on the front door. "I thought I was using the wrong key," Marty said. "but it turns out that none of my keys worked. I didn't understand."

Marty then tried knocking on the door. "Both of their cars were in the driveway. I knew they were home." Marty banged on the door for nearly fifteen minutes before a male voice from inside responded.

"I knew it was my dad," Marty reported. "But he was disguising his voice. Terribly, I might add." Marty tried explaining his predicament to the man behind the locked door, but the only response he heard was, "Marty? I don't know no Marty."

Marty pleaded with the "unknown" man behind the door, but to no avail. "I couldn't believe it," Marty stated to reporters. "My own parents apparently want nothing to do with me." But Marty persisted, and argued with the man behind the door, begging and pleading for shelter.

"I was on that front porch for nearly an hour," Marty stated. "Until eventually, my dad slid a wad of cash underneath the door." The total amounted to 98 dollars.

After Marty acquired the cash, the voice said to Marty, "Good luck with the job, Ms. Nightingale," and the porch light was promptly turned off.

Marty currently has no place to live, and is sleeping in the back storeroom in his place of part-time employment, amongst the de-turded shrimp.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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