Area Man finally gets Cable Television

Funny story written by Morbe

Monday, 9 March 2009

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Jacob Sourbe (27) Awaits sentencing for Armed Robbery Charges.

Jacob Sourbe (27) lived a troubled life. Growing up on the poverty stricken side of town Jacob turned to a life of crime very early in life. Stealing small groceries from a corner store, Mr. Sourbe has never been a stranger to petty crime.

Things were about to change for the Staving, out of work underclassman when he decided to take the leap into Armed Robbery. Jacob held up the State National Bank. "When you're hungry an d out of work, you'll do what you can to eat." Says Sourbe.

Now Sourbe is looking forward to the accommodations he will be obtaining while incarcerated at the First Federal Correction Facility. "I went from not knowing where my next meal was coming from and with eviction notices, where I was going to sleep was on my mind also now."

Jacobs prayers seemed to have been answered, not only will he be receiving catered meals 3 times a day He will also be given a place to stay where he will no longer have to worry about angry Landlords trying to collect rent.

While in Jail awaiting trial and sentencing, Sourbe completed an online course receiving his GED and says he can't wait to start his first Semester of College. An opportunity he would have never otherwise gotten.

"Things are looking up now." The 6ft 4in Jacob explains how he has already been contacted by the Prison's athletic director who are in agreement s to recruit Sourbe as the new Center, after the previous Center was released on good behavior.

"I always wanted to play Basket ball but hung out with a bad crowd instead, I'm excited to travel all over the US and Northern Mexico and meet new friends." Jacob says with a huge smile on his face.

While serving his term Jacob will be given privilege of Cable Television, an Education, healthcare, phone calls home when he gets lonely, and of course visitation on Sundays. Sourbe explained "I know that I should be upset for going to the big house, but it's hard for me to explain all the doors that are going to be opened to me now."

Jacob's attorneys claim that they can get his sentence reduced and with good behavior he can be eligible for release much sooner. Jacob's reply was simply, "I have to think about my health and Education first."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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