Dateline . . . June 2004 . . .
In reply to the Senate Intelligence Committee's finding that there is no credible evidence of Iraq having cooperated in Al Qaeda's 9-11 attack on the U.S., Vice-president Dick Cheney argued to the press today that,
"I probably had access to intelligence commission staff information members haven't seen. So the commission's report is flawed and doesn't mean s..t."
"But Mr Vice-president," an incredulous reporter exclaimed, "Didn't you recently testify ***under oath*** before the Senate intelligence commission about 9-11?"
Cheney: "Sure did. And with G.W. sitting on my lap with me whispering into his ear what to say."
Reporter: "But didn't you disclose such important 'Iraq-9-11' information to the commission during your testimony?"
Cheney: "I probably didn't because it probably didn't ask me the right questions, probably. But it's too late now cuz I've already testified. 'National security,' you know."
Reporter: "What a minute, Mr. Vice-president.
Just what is this 'Iraq - 9-11' information of which you knew that you didn't disclose to the commission during your testimony?"
Cheney: "I didn't say that I had such information. I merely said that I probably had access to some information which the committee didn't have."
Reporter: "Well, Mr, Vice-president, what information is that?"
Cheney: "I don't know. I just had access to receiving it. Not that I ever received it, probably.
Reporter: "So you don't know what information you had about 'Iraq & 9-11' that the commission didn't have, correct?"
Cheney: "Probably, but I had access to it, and if I did, others in the Administration probably knew of it and that's why we bombed the hell out of Iraq!, probably. Got to run. Election time is nearing. Sorry I can't be precise in anything I say, but who is when running for office?"
Reporter: (Sadly) "I see."
