The South Carolina lawman who drew criticism for launching a criminal investigation over the Internet-disseminated photo of the Olympian smoking a bong has announced that he will not pursue charges against the 14 olympic medal winner.
Butler County Deputy Sheriff Andy Fife, who had already arrested eight other coed ne'er-do-wells as a result of his investigation, nevertheless defended his decision to investigate Phelps.
"If I ignore it, I'll be criticized or if I address it, I'll be criticized, or if my pants fall off right here on the camera because of my big belly, I'll be criticized." Fife said in an official statement to the press. "I chose to do what I thought was profitab....right."
"Michael Phelps is a genuine American sports hero. But even with his star status, he is still obligated to obey the laws of our buuuurp! state..scuse. He is not immune from his responsibilities to do what is right. He is also a human bean and can make a mistake. So I gave him a good talking to and then went to see his family and they showed their appreciation for our leniency."
Meanwhile the eight others arrested at the party will get 5 to 10 in the state pen.