LIMA, Peru - Actor, musician, singer, and weird talk show guest Joaquin Phoenix has moved to the Andes Mountains of Peru.
After appearing on David Letterman's Late Night Show on Feb. 11, 2009, Phoenix boarded a plane bound for Lima, Peru.
Meanwhile, people in the United States are still trying to figure out Joaquin's appearance with David Letterman.
Some say it was a hoax. Some say he has gone crazy. Some say he was on drugs. And some have even suggested that it was the end result of listening way too much to Rush Limbaugh's radio show.
When Phoenix was asked what was wrong with him and why he had acted so strangely, he replied that he thought that he was on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, and that the reason he was acting so stupid is because he does not like Jay Leno.
When Leno was asked for a comment, he replied, "I have nine words for Mr. Joaquin Tucson, oops, I mean Phoenix. And those seven words are, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."
Daytime talk show host Oprah Winfrey remarked that the boy's deck was missing about 17 cards.
Ellen DeGeneres said, "Give the puppy back to the little girl please." and GOP princess Ann Coulter said, "You see what President Barack Obama's stimulus package has done. It has turned a perfectly strange person into a perfectly weird as hell Idaho potato."
One of Joaquin's sisters, Rain was glad to see him move to Peru because now she said she can have his room.
Liberty, another sister said that for the past two months all Joaquin would do was to sing hip-hop songs. And she added, that he was horrible, positively horrible.
She said that he was really mixed up because in his songs instead of calling the girls 'bitches,' he would call them 'beaches.'
And he would refer to 'bling-bling' as 'blink-blink.' Sister Summer added that he had recently purchased a pet boa constrictor and named it Beyonce, after an old high school biology teacher.
But perhaps the strangest thing of all according to his sister Rain is that for the past month Joaquin would sit down to pee.
And the day before his appearance on the Letterman Show, Summer had caught him wearing her "I Love The Jonas Brothers" T-shirt.
When she asked Joaquin why he was wearing it he told her that it was to show that he was not homophobic, anti-music, or Muslim.
Joaquin's three sisters, Rain, Liberty, and Summer are writing a book about their big brother. The working title is, "Hey Folks, We're As Confused As Hell Also, And We Lived With The Weird Son-of-a-Bitch."
