What can one say about former US president Bill Clinton that hasn't already been said about piles?
Not a lot.
This genius told CBS that he never considered resigning over Monica Lewinsky and saw his battle against impeachment as a badge of honour.
Which badge would that be?
Tying knots, brownie of the year ; how about brownie most likely to be first lady in 2008?
When they have veterans days, does he arrive wearing a badge bearing the photo of a beaver or does Hillary force him into wearing the one with the raccoon on it?
Commemorating his two black eyes.
Perhaps he could wear both ; the raccoon to show his deep felt remorse and the beaver to show he feels like a real cu...but I digress.
The interview starts badly and goes downhill from there. He tells viewers that he mounted Monica for the worst possible reason :
"Just because I could".
His membership of the mountain climbers club was summarily cancelled, as any mountaineer knows it's : "Just because it's there".
While I might appear hypercritical I must admit that I admire his new found honesty. Far better than the rubbish we had to listen to when he was president :
"I dropped 50 cents and it rolled down the crack. I was just reaching in...."
Don't let me catch any of you sniggering. Bill put his very life on the line to service Monica. Apparently she had made many many voyages of discovery before this one and was keenly known in the right circles as 'the wide one'.
Just before they started she whispered to him :
"Have you taken any precautions?"
"Yes", he hissed back "I've tied my foot to the bedpost".
There's a badge in it right there.
But all's well that end well I suppose. Hillary's written a book and Bill now has his book out. Even little Monica has broken into television.
Well by Monica's mother she's broken into television.
Is their a moral in this?
Close but no cigar.