Here's The Bill

Funny story written by Rebut

Friday, 18 June 2004


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Here's The Bill
Ever since he left I haven't been able to have a Baath in peace.

What can one say about former US president Bill Clinton that hasn't already been said about piles?

Not a lot.

This genius told CBS that he never considered resigning over Monica Lewinsky and saw his battle against impeachment as a badge of honour.

Which badge would that be?

Tying knots, brownie of the year ; how about brownie most likely to be first lady in 2008?

When they have veterans days, does he arrive wearing a badge bearing the photo of a beaver or does Hillary force him into wearing the one with the raccoon on it?

Commemorating his two black eyes.

Perhaps he could wear both ; the raccoon to show his deep felt remorse and the beaver to show he feels like a real cu...but I digress.

The interview starts badly and goes downhill from there. He tells viewers that he mounted Monica for the worst possible reason :

"Just because I could".

His membership of the mountain climbers club was summarily cancelled, as any mountaineer knows it's : "Just because it's there".

While I might appear hypercritical I must admit that I admire his new found honesty. Far better than the rubbish we had to listen to when he was president :

"I dropped 50 cents and it rolled down the crack. I was just reaching in...."

Don't let me catch any of you sniggering. Bill put his very life on the line to service Monica. Apparently she had made many many voyages of discovery before this one and was keenly known in the right circles as 'the wide one'.

Just before they started she whispered to him :

"Have you taken any precautions?"

"Yes", he hissed back "I've tied my foot to the bedpost".

There's a badge in it right there.

But all's well that end well I suppose. Hillary's written a book and Bill now has his book out. Even little Monica has broken into television.

Well by Monica's mother she's broken into television.

Is their a moral in this?

Sex sells?

Close but no cigar.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more