American home boss charged with 300,000 murders

Funny story written by matwil

Wednesday, 28 January 2009

image for American home boss charged with 300,000 murders
Essential for getting off with genocide, and being elected President

The co-manager of the United States of America, George H Bush, has been charged with murdering 300,000 Middle Eastern civilians that were in his care.

Mr. Bush is accused of the deaths of this number of people, and his plea of 'only doing it in the name of peace and democracy' was dismissed as ridiculous by the judge, Mr. Israel Warpig.

Detective Inspector Obama Hussein said: 'It's been a complex case. While the jury may think it's simply a case of Bush being a mass-murdering, genocidal, power-hungry sorry excuse for a human being - well, OK, that's true, but as long as the jury are made up of Americans there's a chance that his freedom and democracy plea will get him off the death sentence.'

'Only Americans would believe that horseshit, the rest of the world knows Bush is guilty and so is his retard of a son. The worst war criminals since the Nazis!'

But Mr. Bush himself stood in the dock, and made his own defense. 'Look, I paid Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein to keep their mouths shut, I can't believe I'm on trial while they're playing golf in Dubai at my expense! Their CIA pensions are costing me a fortune.'

'But ladies and gentlemen of the jury', and he took a bite of an onion as he said this, 'I appeal to you in the name of democracy, and freedom, and the American way of life, y'all, even if it means watching thousands of Middle East children and women being blown to pieces by our oil companies - I mean troops.'

And wiping away a tear, he continued: 'As the late great American patriot P. T. Barnum said, 'There's 250 million born every minute!', I rest my case, your honor', and the jury also burst into tears at this, passed a not-guilty sentence on the accused, and retired to check their lend lease policies in Israel and Nazi Germany.

Detective Inspector Obama Hussein had nothing to say about the verdict.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more