America's first Pharoah elect has declared that unprecedented public works projects will revive the US economy. Land reclamation projects along the Potomac are promising bumper crops of cotton and papyrus. Neighboring West Virginia will become the new Valley of the Kings with pyramids stretching from Morgantown to the North Carolina border.
Royal barges will ferry the new nobility along Chesapeake Bay sphinxes and the biggest boost to the economy is expected to come from grave robbers and archaeologists.
Pharoah Elect Obama explained that once his administration can tap into the Indiana Jones craze and the American worship of cats, the economy will explode:
"If we can just get Americans to spend the money they waste on pets and entertainment on the common good, my dynasty will go down in history!"
