HOLLYWOOD, California - Universal Pictures has just announced that they have signed Pamela Anderson to star in 'The Sarah Palin Story.'
An insider at Universal stated that the part of Todd Palin will be played by George Clooney. The parts of John and Cindy McCain will be played by John and Cindy McCain. Will Smith will portray Barack Obama and Halle Berry will play the part of Michelle Obama.
Pamela Anderson told Mary Hart of Entertainment Tonight that she has been preparing for her role for the past two months. Ms. Anderson said, "I have been studying Governor Palin's mannerisms, nuances, idiosyncrasies, colloquialisms, perfume, and the sultry little way that she winks.
I will be dying my beautiful blonde hair brown. I will be wearing brown contact lenses and I will even be entering St. Barbacoa Hospital in Beverly Hills to have breast reduction surgery to achieve the utmost degree of authenticity."
Ms. Anderson told the movie's producer that the only thing that she is dreading is the scene where she as Sarah Palin stalks, shoots, and skins a full-grown adult moose.
The movie's producer Sebastian Wilcox said that he understood Ms. Anderson's concern and he assured her that they would be using one of the best stunt mooses in the business. He told her that Pablo, the stunt moose has appeared in over two dozen movies including 'The Titanic,' 'The Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants 2,' and 'Meet The Fockers.'
Ms. Anderson told Mary Hart that the role of Governor Palin was one of her most challenging roles especially since she had to learn how to drive a snowmobile and a snow plow while wearing a pair of short shorts.
She also had to learn how to survive in the Alaskan wilderness by eating nothing but caribou footprints, reindeer tonsils, and snowballs. Ms. Anderson did say that she really enjoyed the scenes where she got to pee in the snow. She added that the biggest challenge of all was having to learn Russian.
The Sarah Palin Story will hit the theaters on February 14, 2009. It will have an 'R' rating and will contain strong Alaskan profanity, graphic hunting violence, wilderness nudity, and political innuendo.
In other news, The Republic of China has invaded Laos. The Chinese Assistant Prime Minister Sing Song Ping Pong told reporters, "Hey, what can I say...we need the room bad."