Written by Judge Retort

Sunday, 5 October 2008

image for Treasury now wants to bail out foreign banks!
"Hey, I do so have a bottom!"

There has been a 21st century epiphanenomenal revelation by President Bush and Congress that the pocket of the American taxpayer is bottomless - almost even, some are whispering, as limitless in available cash as Oprah - even after a wild Saturday night with Steadman.

Congress asks the generous question: Why only stop at bailing out failed greedy and reckless domestic financial institutions? Why not bail out every greedy and reckless foreign financial institution, as well?

The short list follows (the Judge can't afford a computer server farm big enough to store the complete list): Russia, Viet Nam, Cuba, Congo, Bulgaria, Antarctica, the Arctic (probably not until global warming dries it up some), The First Galactic Bank (local branch #51, Roswell, Arizona), Heaven (God's a little short on change, after supporting all the President's prayers for the war in Iraq), Hell (was skipped -- for failure to achieve minimal credit score), the Federation, the Klingon Empire (extensive collateral required, however), the Romulan Empire, middle earth, Narnia, and OZ.

Plus, the State Department is working on time travel to allow Congress to finally bail out the ancient Roman Empire to avert the Dark Ages, and also (responding to a polite request from Israel) to solve Solomon's deficit with Tyre and Egypt to avert the Divided Kingdom.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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