U.S. Utterly General, Mr. John Asscraft announced new terror threats from the Al-Qaeda today.
Speaking in Washington D.C., he said, "For the past several months, the Al-Qaeda has been keeping quiet and letting the attention of all Americans wander to the situation in Iraq and the U.S. economy. Highly credible intelligence confirms that this is a very dangerous threat - to the popularity of our great lieder, President George W. Bush.
This threat has been confirmed by recent popularity polls. We need the assistance of the public in order to counter this threat. All citizens must remain on the alert and constantly remember how our emperor saved our country, no our world, no the entire universe after 911 and that none other than our President Bush, not even God, can protect them and this world from the terrorists."
When asked by journalists whether the current threat was for real, the Utterly General replied, "It is not my job to worry about reality" and reiterated that his job is to remind the American people of general, vague and unspecified threats from assorted bogeymen, that may or may not materialize at an unknown time and place, possibly.
