Home schooling now legal again in California, though conditions apply

Written by Robert W. Armijo

Saturday, 16 August 2008


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

Los Angeles, California - From the state that touts torts of tolerance with same-sex marriages, legalized medical marijuana and a history of voting two Hollywood "Republican" movie stars to the highest office of governor (but outlawed home schooling), the California court of appeals finally reversed a lower court's ruling outlawing home schooling since last February.

"Parents are free once again to continue to home school their children as they see fit," the justices ruled. "Provided they are marijuana smoking same-sex couples. Otherwise, they will be arrested."

The three-panel court of appeals ruling is seen as blatant bigotry as different-sex non marijuana-smoking couples are still to refrain from home schooling their children altogether.

"Look we're not stupid," said a spokesman for the office of the state superintendent of public instruction. "We know that parents are engaging in more than just educating their children. They are indoctrinating them with their skewed family and religious values instead of ours."

The ruling is seen as a compromise between the state of California's tradition of tolerance and bigotry, say public schooling critics. Ensuring that home-schooled children will receive the same secular multicultural, same-sex sensitivity and narcotic tolerance training as their public schooled counterparts.

"It's all up to the parents," said the office of the state superintendent of public instruction., addressing the reluctance on behalf of parents that home school. "They just have to ask themselves how badly do they want to home school their children then bite the bullet and get bent. The marijuana should help."

Technically, the ruling permits parents to continue to teach their family and religious values, allowing them to pass on their personal belief systems despite having to outwardly compromise them.

"We don't think home schooling will have the same impact under this new ruling," said a spokesman for the Home School Legal Defense Foundation. "For the most part, our parents are not same-sex oriented or smokers for that matter, much less marijuana. So we don't see the ruling as a victory, and we will continue to challenge it in the courts."

"It [the ruling] doesn't even require parents to devoice and remarry someone of the same gender," said the office of the state superintendent of public instruction. "Only that both parents are of the same gender. So a third stage transgendered male [or female] is completely acceptable."

The marijuana does not necessarily have to be smoked, particularly if it is in a restaurant, apartment or public venue, added the office of the state superintendent of public instruction.

"In those situations, it is completely permissible to be taken in pill form or even intravenously. Using our free clean needles exchange program, of course," said the office of the state superintendent of public instruction.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more