U.S Army Recalls thousands of WWII Vets to active duty

Funny story written by Travis Higgins

Thursday, 17 July 2008

image for U.S Army Recalls thousands of WWII Vets to active duty
Newly Recalled soldier Harold Roberts waits in line for his uniforms outside an Army personnel processing facility

The U.S Army announced today that it would be recalling thousands of aging WWII veterans to active duty over the next few months amid recent recruiting shortfalls and troop retention troubles.
With Iraq violence at a four year low and talk of Troop drawdowns as soon as September some lawmakers questioned the army's decision.

When asked about the move, Joint Chairman of the chief of staff for the Army General Dickey Hertz responded, "we are simply running out of time to utilize the experienced combat vets, they are dying of at an unprecedented rate and we need to utilize them before there gone".

Hertz continued by explaining the roll these aging seniors will play in the conflicts. "our studies have shown that these vets make excellent candidates for lead military drivers on convoys, The are less likely to see hazards such as IED's that may scare a much younger driver and are more willing to dive through right them, and hell, who is really gonna miss a truck full of 80+ year old men? Most of these folk's friends and family are long gone anyways. It really clears the way for our younger, more capable soldiers"

While discussing to the conflict in Afghanistan the chairman remarked "most of these men are on oxygen anyway, this makes them ideal candidates for the high altitude operations we face in the mountains of Afghanistan. A challenge for younger soldiers, these men are already used to carrying around that heavy bottle and besides most of them already have it so it really cuts down on cost"

The Army announced the first round of recalled soldiers will report for in processing as soon as next week where they will be fitted for uniforms and sent to units with shortages after a two week military refresher course.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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