Hillary Clinton's October Surprise - In May

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Tuesday, 27 May 2008

image for Hillary Clinton's October Surprise - In May
"Gosh, I didn't mean it."

Senator Hillary Clinton's October surprise might well turn out to be her very own May demise. Insisting she still had a chance at the nomination, though the numbers favored Barack Obama, she said, "Because you never know." The vague, Because you never know, became clear on Friday when she said, "My husband's nomination wasn't locked up until June," and added, "Robert F. Kennedy's assassination also happened in June."

Later, speaking at a super market in South Dakota, while symbolically standing beneath a Salad Dressing sign, Hillary Clinton found her voice once again. "I regret that if my referencing that moment of trauma for our entire nation and in particular the Kennedy family was in any way offensive. I certainly had no intention of that whatsoever."

No intention whatsoever? That's an apology? That's like running over someone with a tracker trailer and saying, "I regret if that moment of trauma was offensive. Not my intention. I just wanted to get to the other side of the road." In her case, to the White House.

Her office was quick to condemn those who took issue with her reference, saying they were outrageous. Right! Condemn the public for reaching outrageous conclusions. Once more, to quote Groucho Marx, "Who you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?"

Hillary could have referenced the 1980 nominating process that went all the way to the Democratic National Convention in August, where Senator Edward Kennedy conceded the nomination to Jimmy Carter.

She already proved to be petty and mean spirited by ridiculing Barack Obama's kindergarten ambitions to be president of the United States. When Obama was further compared to John F. Kennedy, Hillary pointed out - like the kid in the front of the class - that it was Lyndon Baines Johnson who passed the Civil Rights Act. Was she attempting to trivialize J.F.K's. contribution to this country and thereby suggest Obama wasn't that great either?

There's a sinister pattern in the Clinton thinking. Bill trivialized Barack Obama's win in South Carolina by pointing out that Jesse Jackson also won South Carolina in '92. That was history.

Like yesterday's salad, so is Hillary Clinton.

Read more by this author:

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more