WASHINGTON, DC - As a result of Senator Larry Craig's lewd conduct in a Minneapolis airport bathroom the Committee on Standards of Official Conduct will introduce a bill, Craig's Repugnant Airport Proposition (CRAP).If passed,it will require all men's public bathrooms to post the following:
Do not stick your hand under the stall divider and say "Gimme five."
Do not say,"I'm out of the watercloset,"when leaving the bathroom.
No humming or whistling "Macho Man" by the Village People.
No footsies when sitting in the stalls.
No handsies when standing at the urinals.
Keep whatever is between you and your Calvins to yourself.
If you feel you must talk about something other than the weather talk about ESPN,not Oprah.
Handicapped stalls are for the physically challenged, not the challenged who want to get physical.
Don't ever say,"Who left the toilet seat up?"
