Washington, DC - The former office of President of the United States has been renamed Commander-in-Chief of the World, according to an announcement from CINCWHIHOU (formerly the White House).
"The President is the Commander-in-Chief," said spokesdoll Dana Perino. "Lesser tasks, such as presiding over the execution of laws, are only distractions. This name change merely reflects his actual mission."
Republican leaders applauded this move. "The so-called 'Constitution' wants the President swear to uphold the Constitution itself," said Senator McCain. "That's a clear conflict of interest. The Commander-in-Chief has quite properly ignored this piece of paper in relegating so-called 'laws' to their proper status, as material for trivia quizzes."
In Congress, Democrats responded with their traditional displays of servile objection. "We shall file a non-binding resolution denouncing this usurpation," said Senator Majority Sleeper Reid, "And we will fully fund it."
House Squeaker Nancy Pelosi agreed. "We were sent to Congress to do the bidding of George W Bush. No parliamentary maneuvering will be allowed to stand in his way, although I shall send him a stiff note of querulousness. That's the best way to ensure my re-election, if the Commander-in-Chief is pleased to permit it."
