Palm Beach, Florida (IPP) - Rush Limbaugh invited reporters to his ocean front home in Palm Beach to discuss his entry into the field of philanthropy. Rush says he has been a taker all of his life and now wants to give something back to the world.
When asked why the sudden change Rush replied that he has been above the law for many years. He said that this is common among people of his stature. Rush told reporters he is worth one-billion dollars at the very least.
He described how he had purchased over one pound of oxycontin at a pancake restaurant on Belvedere Road in West Palm Beach just north of Palm Beach International Airport and how he had gotten away with it scot free. He said there is a man in a Florida State prison who actually was in such pain that he needed numerous oxycontin pills daily and was serving a 20 year sentence after getting raided at 4:00 in the morning for possessing too many pills.
Rush said the whole thing made him realize that he needs to give something back to the society which allows him to be the mouthpiece for America's greedy corporations. With this in mind he has decided to give away his old socks and underwear. Rush says he never wears the same thing twice and that whoever receives this generous gift will just have to run them through the wash one time.
Rush also never uses more than a few sheets of toilet paper when he goes potty and so he will also donate a few dozen partially used rolls of toilet paper to needy folks who have liquid assets less than 10 million dollars.
Rush suddenly cut his interview short. His limo had just pulled up to take him to the airport. Rush loves his sex vacation trips to the Dominican Republic. He no longer smuggles black market viagra after having been caught with some. There is a viagra source for him on the island. He was never prosecuted for possessing the black market pills thanks to the fact that the current and previous Florida governors are both Republicans.
