Spears Family Running Out of Ways to Prove White Trashiness

Funny story written by Anthony J Nowak

Saturday, 29 December 2007

image for Spears Family Running Out of Ways to Prove White Trashiness

With the recent pregnancy announcement by Jamie Lynn Spears, the entire Spears family is concerned they may be actually running out of ways to demonstrate to the world the magnitude of their white trashiness.

"Let's face it, a knocked up 16-year-old is a tough one to top," said Tracy Bechtold, the founder of Opus Group, a Los Angeles based public relations and consulting firm. "When one is asked to conjure up an image of what white trash means, that common image is in fact the pregnant teen."

The heavily publicized announcement of the younger Spears' pregnancy came on the heels of a much anticipated book release by Lynne Spears, her mother, on good parenting. While the book would have presumably sold extremely well in southern states such as Alabama, its popularity in regions of the country that are actually able to read, as opposed to just look at the pictures, was already in question, even prior to the devastatingly ironic announcement of the pregnancy.

With the infamous antics of the older sibling Britney Spears known the world over, including seemingly endless drug and alcohol problems, legal problems, and allegations of poor parenting on top of a divorce, the latest news of Jamie Lynn's bun in the oven only exacerbates the tainted image of a family that clearly belongs in a home on wheels.

"While it does little to bolster their overall family marketability, it certainly does tons to confirm their overall pathetically embarrassing trailer park mentality," said Keith Wolfe of Keith Wolfe Enterprises, a Hollywood talent agency. "To use words they could understand, y'all don't get no more trashy than that!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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