Davina McCall Reveals Fantasy Chat Show Line-up

Funny story written by Amateur Scribe

Friday, 28 December 2007

image for Davina McCall Reveals Fantasy Chat Show Line-up
"...I can't tell you how much of an honour it is to indroduce my next guest. Please welcome... Christopher Biggins!"

Following hot on the heels of Michael Parkinson's emotional TV finale, fellow unemployed chat-show host Davina McCall has announced plans for a similar celebration of golden memories.

Parkinson bowed out of the light-entertainment spotlight with a star-studded programme featuring interviews with his all-time favourite guests including Dame Judy Dench, Michael Caine and David Beckham. The droll Yorkshireman and professional sycophant was celebrating four decades of back-slapping banter during which he helped launch the careers of comics Billy Connolly and Peter Kay.

McCall's show, Davina, was cancelled in 2006, midway through the first series.

"Parky is a true gentleman and a master of his craft," the former Big Brother host gushed. "I had a tear in my eye as I watched that final show with all those wonderful old clips of Sir David Attenborough and Dame Edna Everage. It was hilarious watching the way Billy Connolly's beard has changed down the years!"

"So I got to thinking: What fun it would be to put together a "Best Of" programme from all my Davina interviews," McCall (whose own programme ran for just eight episodes) continued.

"I remember there was this one anecdote Eamonn Holmes had about the mole problem in his garden - it was hilarious! I'd love to get him back on and find out how the story ended!"

McCall is also "putting out feelers" to other former guests. Jade Goody and Gloria Hunniford have agreed in principle to return and discuss their respective liposuction and tanning oil addictions, while first ever guest Max Beesley could well come on for a climactic final interview thus providing a poignant reminder that the "Davina journey" has come full circle.

One celebrity not slated to return, however, is glamour-model Jordan, who will be too busy filming her own show Katie and Peter Unleashed.

"It'll be a real tear-jerker," McCall concluded. "All my greatest guests one after the other on the same show."

"I tell you what, though - I'm glad that Zeppelin-breasted, sour-faced bitch Jordan isn't coming back. I couldn't coax a decent story out of her and her earnest dullard of a husband the first time round so I wouldn't relish another stab at it. How the hell did those two morons get a second series?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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