US Senate members pulled an all-nighter yesterday, complete with all-dressed Godfather's pizzas, Krispy cremes with sparkles (and in an ethnic salute to new-found friend India) Big Gulp Mango Chutney Squeegies. Followed by a vigorous round of nude arm-wrestling, a 53-40 vote approved the confirmation of Michael Mukasey as Head of the Justice Department.
When reported in the media that this was the smallest margin win ever, Mugwump spokesman Joe Lieberman stated "what sold me were his views on civil liberties. I found his definition of water-boarding to be succinct and precise. I'm a water sports fan myself".
Mukasey stated his first order of business would be to send all Supreme Court judges on a information exchange trip to US ally Pakistan. "They do democracy so well over there, we have much to learn. Also they eat a lot of fatty meat and that shows they share our common values". The new DOJ Head-elect stated that there is no other country in the world that upholds law and order and civil liberties as profoundly as their "major non-Nato ally".
Expressing delight the Pakistani Minister of Dis-information said, "we look farward to his visit, we have cleaned out Islamabad and jailed avrybody so our security arrangements are 200 percent ship-shape. We have much to teach the Amreekans about Rule A La and La and Ardor".
A White House press release stated that the President himself had pushed hard for Mukasey's confirmation. "I looked into his heart and I liked what I saw", said Mr. Bush. "He's a good man. You're doing a heckuva job Mukusy".