McDonalds Offers Strip Search, Molestation Incentives to Management

Funny story written by Buck E Filbert

Saturday, 6 October 2007

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McDonalds Corp. is delving into reality-based porno as a sideline to its already popular burger restaurants. Recently McDonalds offered its store managers the freedom to strip search and sexually molest employees at will.

All this stems from McDonalds offering sexually explicit DVD's as bonus packets with its happy meals. Apparently all a customer has to do is call their local McDonalds masquerade as a police officer and demand the manager strip-searched and molest teenage employees. In a week or two you might find that employee strip-searched in your happy meal. Yummy.

There are rumors that McDonalds is going to have a, "Hooters Girl" like reality show featuring nation wide strip searches performed on unsuspecting teenage girls. They would then air these searches and America would vote on the hottest McDonalds strip search contestants. The winner will recieve a lucrative spokeswoman contract and would make many personal appearances
across America. The footage would be culled from security cameras through out McDonald restaurants.

While the union is screaming bloody murder the McDonalds' regular customers are surprisingly in favor of the offer and are totally behind the new promotion.

From the desk of
Buck E Filbert

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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