Westchester County, Salem - The ultra-secret hideout of the X-Men suffered some serious damage at the hands of some unscrupulous octogenarians. The incident occurred while the students were on a field trip to Disney.
Sheriff Ray Cist who was first on the scene said, "Aw, it's just some kids doing your average breaking windows, crapping on the floors, turning on all of the faucets, setting small fires and spray painting graffiti everywhere. No harm, no foul."
But the Dean, Charles Xavier, is quick to refute those comments. "The writing is on the wall. This was not a random incident. Everybody knows who the 'Legion of Doom' is." The villainous group, once headed by Lex Luthor, appears to have re-emerged with a geriatric fury like never before. "Several walls have been damaged and we found a silver walker with the name Solomon Grundy etched on it and an empty Geritol bottle."
"They've spray-painted Original O.G. Gangsta's everywhere, even on the wings of the X-Jet Blackbird," said a disgruntled Jean Grey. And Wolverine was overheard saying, "I'm gonna show them why they called me the Amazing Ginsu in high school." The team is already using Cerebro to try and find the hide-out of their Darth Vader helmet headquarters.
