WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) -- Doctors removed five large polyps from President Bush's brain on Saturday and "all appeared worrisome," a White House spokesman said. Doctor's also removed Bush's colon from his brain and reattached it to his stomach where it belongs.
The polyps were sent to the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland for examination, spokesman Scott Stanzel said. All were large, more than ten centimeters in diameter and doctors were disgusted at their appearance.
"The polyps resembled little Republican heads, one even looked like Karl Rove and another like Scooter Libby, said one anonymous, revolted doctor.
During the medical procedure Vice President Dick Cheney assumed presidential power and immediately ordered planning for a CIA bomb blast in Boston which he could blame on terrorists.
Doctors performed a colonoscopy of Bush's brain and were surprised to discover his colon there. The colonoscopy is the most sensitive test for colon cancer, rectal cancer and polyps, small clumps of cells that can become cancerous.
Doctors immediately removed his colon from the brain and attached it to his stomach with staples and glue.
"It is very unusual to discover a colon in a human brain," said one exhausted doctor after the procedure, "but not so unusual in the brains of Republican Presidents. We had to perform the same procedure of George Bush senior, Dick Cheney, Ronald Reagan and Richard Nixon."
The American Cancer Society recommends that people without high risk factors or symptoms begin getting screened for signs of colorectal cancer over 50 years old.
--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire
