Camp David - (Ass Mess): Surgeons foraging for polyps hidden deep inside President George W Bush's colon today were surprised to find titanium microdots etched with secret telephone numbers belonging to DC madam Deborah Jean Palfrey's hooker business.
"At first we thought we'd found some routine polyps," gastrointestinal surgeon Dr Butt said today, "but when we put them under the microscope we realised they were standard secret service-issue microdots.
"Lord knows how they managed to find their way into the President's lower colon.
"And judging from their position I guess they must have been imbedded into the gut for at least four, maybe five years because all the DC area phone codes relate to the 2002-2003 period," Butt added.
White House shock jock Tony Snow has refused to comment on reports that Bush may have swallowed the microdots to save the blushes of some of his Administration's top honchos.
"I know nothing about these microdots," Snow claimed today, "nor can I say how I think they got there, nor confirm that swallowing would have been the obvious route."
DC gossip circles tonight are buzzing with speculation that White House rent boy Jeff Ganon may have used the Presidential rectum as a storage facility for hiding the microdots due to their allegedly 'explosive' connotations.
"We think Bush porbably put them there himself one night and maybe forgot all about them," one Georgetown resident confided today.
