Osama Bin Laden Wins Harvard Peace Prize

Written by Andrew Lawrence

Saturday, 21 July 2007

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(Boston) - Terrorist Osama Bin Laden today was awarded the prestigious Harvard Peace Prize for not attacking the United States in the previous year.

The Committee for the Harvard Peace Prize (not affiliated with Harvard University) issued the statement, "We commend the world's #1 terrorist for his lack of effort in trying to blow up the U.S. and for his wilderness survival skills."

As the leader of the worldwide terrorist group, Al Qaeda, the highly educated and highly rich Bin Laden is known for his low-profile management style and deep commitment to his religious and political values, including jihad and the blowing up of innocent women and children.

He is also the most slippery character in the world, evading every effort to capture or kill him. Bounty hunter, Dwayne "Dawg" Chapman, on the Larry King show, remarked, "He's got a huge bounty on his head. As soon as my hit TV show is over I may have to go after his punk ass".

The Harvard Peace Prize consists of one million dollars cash, a one million dollar term life insurance policy, an I-phone with 1-year of free international service, a trip to DisneyWorld and the choice of either a new Cadillac Escalade or a donkey.

In a videotaped acceptance speech, filmed in an unknown, remote location, Bin Laden thanked the Harvard Peace Prize Committee and thanked the Bush Administration for letting him escape after 9/11 and for not making any effort to hunt him down for the past 6 years.

copyright 2007 Andrew Lawrence

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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