NEW YORK STATE (YONKERS) --"If you've been charged while driving drunk as a rooter skunk in New York City, we will get you the best resolution possible and make sure everything goes smoothly so you don't have to worry. Just go on partying," said Attorney Warring Redlick.
"In many cases our DWI lawyers will save you one or more visits to court. In Paris Hilton's case -- she could have just phoned in her court date," Mr. Redlick said, flipping the top off a Bud Light on the desk, "not only would we have kept her out of Attica -- we could have gotten her six toilet rolls a month!"
Warring's criminal litigation experience includes everything from felonies to traffic tickets. In one recent case, the client was wrongfully accused of stealing a chicken from a store where he worked. His first attorney told him to plead to a felony and take 90 days in jail and 5 years of probation. Once Warren took over and started fighting, the offers started getting better. On the first day of trial, as the jury was waiting to be picked, Warren persuaded them to all chip in -- and buy his client a chicken.
Warring Redlick has not ruled out one day running for the top office -- that of President of the United States of America. "It just takes a lot of money," he said, "and campaign donations. My main problem is finding anyone sober enough to contribute financially. Drunks have problems finding their pocket with their hand."
Warring would naturally be running on the -- Sober America -- ticket.
Good luck Warring.
