Miami, Florida - (Ass Mess): Archaeologists believe they have found a pre-Creationist era lost civilization at the bottom of Lake Okeechobee after a state-wide Florida drought caused virtually total evaporation of its waters and exposed a massive wealth of human remains, artefacts, cuneiform writings, buildings, boats and other finds dating back 'literally thousands of years' according to scientists from the Florida State Museum.
Thousands of items of gold jewellery, precious stones, items of pottery, ceremonial armor, swords, knives, religious artefacts as well as human bone fragments have been discovered under the alluvial mass at the bottom of the lake suggesting that a pre-Creationist pre-Judaic civilization once flourished there.
During the last 18 months Okeechobee has reached a hysterically low level and now is the first time in years that its bed has been exposed, allowing archaeologists to ransack its secrets.
"Sure is a crush right now to salvage and identify things before they go back under," said Chris Davenport, an archaeology specialist for Palm Beach County.
"This could be a pre-Patriarchal American Indian settlement that we have discovered here," said State Archaeologist Ryan Wheeler.
"We're just hopin' that the old Reverend Pat Robertson doesn't come hot-footin' down here and claiming it as a sacred site for his new 700 Club museum."