WASHINGTOWN (Rootass) - President George W. Bush on Thursday predicted a bloody summer in Iraq for U.S. troops and Iraqi civilians as insurgents step up attacks, while a divided U.S. Congress approved funds for the unpopular war.
Mr Bush had these predictions during an all night sweat lodge, an ancient Native American ritual; he also took some peyote to help things along.
As he slipped into a dream like trance, he went through the usual three hours of mumbling an incoherent stream of consciousness, not unlike the old oracle of Delphi.
The Presidential Shaman was then tended to by seven of his closest virgins including Crustymingus Rice, chief virgin to the chief.
His jumble of words recorded on parchment and then deciphered by turkey entrail reading Defence Secretary Robert Gates, who said later he also anticipated more violence this summer from what he called "a smart, agile, thinking enemy.
Which is a shame, as we really had our hopes pinned on a dim witted, slow moving opponent that we could trounce in a trice!"