Bush Administration row over occult

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 21 May 2007

image for Bush Administration row over occult
"Cleanse the Presidential residency to make it habitable for normal people"

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): US President George Bush has accused his Vice President Dick Cheney of wishing him dead and consulting GOP holy men on the date of his demise.

Mr Bush said the Vice President had told a former Scecretary for Defense Donald Rumsfelt: "Don't worry, the President will be dead soon."

Cheney has denied the charges and has retorted in public that Mr Bush mind's must have been "full of the cobwebs of juju or occult".

The two leaders had a big bust up last week over Attorney General Alberto Gonzales when Bush said he also felt undermined over Paul Wolfowitz's sacking from the World Bank.

Speaking about the resulting feud between him and his VP on national television Mr Bush said Dick Cheney had told a senior White House official had consulted a 'holy man'.

The President had heard the whisperings that he had been given a month to live and had better prepare himself.

Bush then said the alleged comments showed his Vice President's "bankruptcy of ideas, bankruptcy of knowledge and lack of knowledge in God and the affairs of God on the lives of human beings".

"But I am not afraid of such stupidity!

"Of course, I know that as Leader of the Free World you can always be poisoned if you're not careful. But if God wants to save you, you will be saved."

Bush and Cheney fell out after repeated attempts to change the constitution over illicit unwarranted wiretappings, over Paul Wolfowitz and now over Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.

Cheney has defended himself robustly after he too was accused by detractors of "using Christianity as a smokescreen while engaged in occultism and diabolical acts".

"The next occupant of the White House will need to spiritually cleanse the Presidential residency to make it habitable for normal people," Cheney is alleged to have remarked.

"As for those public accusations of fetish acts against me, the President has revealed his own mindset.

"It's not a pretty picture I can tell you for nothing.

"Everybody knows that the Bush family has had a long and ignoble association with deadly secret societies such as the Ku Klux Klan, the P2 Lodge, the Hellfire Club and most recently the Corrupt Bastards Club.

"God knows where this row will lead to."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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