George Bush not one of ours claims God

Funny story written by David Baker

Monday, 26 January 2004

image for George Bush not one of ours claims God
God, yesterday

In a shocking development today God has broken almost 2000 years of silence to deny claims that George W Bush is fighting the good fight.

Speaking from his heavenly domain God said, "The evil blasphemer keeps using my name, saying he was called by me to be President, and yet he is pure evil and I know he belongs to the other side. My plan was for Dubya make a fortune as a cold hearted business man and then repent and spend his billions feeding the hungry and clothing the poor, but it seems the Satan the despoiler has foiled this plan. I'm not sure what happened there, but what I do know is that Bush will not be welcome in heaven come judgement day, in fact I know that he will be going to the Bad Place for an eternity of suffering."

In response to this Satan, the father of lies, has said, "Well it seemed like a good idea at the time, get this goofball into the Whitehouse and start a few wars, but he's completely out of control. I wish that I'd had nothing to do with him, it's getting too much. On the positive side I'm dreaming up some special extra nasty punishments for him when he comes down here."

When asked exactly what President Bush got in exchange for his soul a Whitehouse spokesman said, "What is a soul, I have never heard of such a thing."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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