Texas City refinery disaster: Corrupt Bastards helped ousted BP chief in cover-up

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 3 May 2007

image for Texas City refinery disaster: Corrupt Bastards helped ousted BP chief in cover-up
The Club, VECO and Alberto Gonzales kept BP CEO smelling sweet

London - (Ass Mess): Alaska's Corrupt Bastards Club - the charitable arm of the VECO Corporation which cleans up cover-up scandals in the US oil industry - has been revealed as the driving force which made sure BP's Texas City oil refinery disaster absolved all blame from the company's disgraced ex-CEO Lord Browne who was booted from his city job this week after Law Lords confirmed him as the UK's flagship liar.

Browne was outed in public after his rent boy of six years Jeff Chevalier tried to sell his story to the tabloid press after getting dumped.

Browne instructed lawyers to gag the story in an ex parte hearing before a judge in chambers citing Human Rights legislation to protect his privacy.

This week the Law Lords overturned that loophole by stating unequivocably that the BP CEO's earlier evidence under oath was a massive lie, a move that allowed publication of Browne's Texas City disaster catalogue of horrors to be exposed.

These show that his corrupt stewardship of BP and misuse of company facilities was prevented from being made known to both the US Chemical Safety Board inquiry into the Texas City oil refinery disaster, as well as to BP shareholders trying to challenge his pension package at the company's recent AGM.

Chevalier further alleged that when the Texas City refinery
disaster occured, killing 15 people and injuring 170, he was present at a meeting between his lover Browne and UK Prime Monster Tony Blair who was urged to do everything in his power to cover up Browne's personal liability in the US horror.

"He leaned on Blair, it was almost blackmail," Chevalier told the press.

Blair then allegedly phoned George Bush and said that as the UK's biggest corporate taxpayer and contributor to the Exchequer, BP and its CEO had to be protected from blame in the disaster becaume legal damages 'would wipe the company's balance sheet to zero'.

Chevalier claims that in subsequent discussions he heard his lover Browne on the telephone 'confirming his delight that Blair had managed to secure Alaska's Corrupt Bastards Club sponsorship' of the Texas City disaster cover-up via their contacts in VECO, whose own rent boys in the US Justice Department ensured the legal process went relavtively smoothly to keep Browne out of the US lawcourts on corporate manslaughter charges.

This sponsorship was personally brokered by George W Bush and overseen in the Justice Department by US Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.

UK tabloids have had a field day this week asserting that Browne, who was booted out of BP this week, is to be prosecuted for perjury and will be stripped of his lucrative city appointments such as his non-executive directorship at Goldman Sax which pays him a whopping great big $300,000 for doing absolutely f-all.

More developments are expected later in the week.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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