California - (Rotters): Scientists at the Dead Loss Alamos Laboratory national research center have cloned a human version of US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice according to a secret report leaked out today.
The lab clone was replicated using DNA found in rattlesnakes' milk after key genes were extracted and modified with swine fever virus proteins.
A total of three clones were made, each with a different human-origin source gene material utilising the human proteins lactoferrin and lysozyme. These were then cultivated and copied in the lab to produce a synthetic version.
According to reports sourced to the Republican campaign office for the 2008 presidential elections, one of these clones will now be upgraded and bankrolled to succeed George W Bush as the 44th President of the United States.
A spokesman for the research facility told the press today that "concerns about electability and morality were based on perception, not reality".
The US Secretary of State is 55.