Christians furious over James Cameron's claims to have found the lost tomb of Jesus

Funny story written by Breeze

Wednesday, 28 February 2007

image for Christians furious over James Cameron's claims to have found the lost tomb of Jesus
Jesus today

Christians across the globe are hopping mad about claims made by 'Titanic' director, James Cameron, that he has found Jesus' tomb in Jerusalem.

Mr Cameron has become a hate figure amongst the normally placid bible thumpers and has been attacked on the street no fewer than six times by peace-loving, God botherers.

"It's getting so I can't leave the house," moaned multi oscar winning Cameron, "Everytime I go out, I get abused or attacked by Christians. I have been sent death threats and an order of nuns from Ohio sent me a bullet in the post."

Fundamentalist preacher, Bob Rottweiler, told us, "We Christians believe in Jesus' message of love....and I would love to get my hands on that blasphemous motherfucker."

Bishop Stig Knobwood, professor of theology at the New York Institute, told us, "This is a very complex issue but the facts are clear. In America, we Christians are free to pursue our religous beliefs and we believe that we are also free to pursue those who do not share our religous beliefs..........pursue them and ultimately hunt them down and kill them. That's what faith is all about"

Sister Mary Noknockers, a Dominican nun who has spent the last 60 years following the vows of poverty, chastisty and obedience said, "I will be praying for Mr Cameron's soul. Then I will be attemping to get a bead on him with my high powered hunting rifle."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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