Sodomising a dead dog is still illegal in Michigan: judge

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 26 February 2007

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Hoping the same ruling applies in Washington DC, home to Barney and Miss Beazley...

Bay County - (Ass Mess): A 45 year old Saginaw man, Ronald E. Kuch, is to be charged with sodomy, indecent exposure, bestiality and resisting and obstructing an animal control officer after being caught having sex with a road-kill Alsatian.

Despite Michigan Law not rating sex with a dead canine as a felony, the accused is being hauled over the coals on charges that could result in a 15 year prison sentence.

The hapless pooch had been dead for a whole week Bay County Circuit Judge Joseph K. Sheeran was told, and had belonged to the defendant's girlfriend.

No real explanation had been offered by Kuch and police officers had found no evidence of any three-way combo, such as including the girlfriend, or another man, or another dog for that matter.

But a witness for the defence told the judge that three things might be possible that should be taken into consideration in mitigation.

One: at the time of the alleged offence the defendant had just had a row with his girlfriend. Two: the defendant thought this was about as good as it was going to get on the day of the alleged offence taking place. And three: it was the wrong time of month for his girlfriend and his pal had just told him to 'go find someone/something better than that dog back home'.

The case continues.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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