First, the 'Straight Talk Express' became the 'Ass Kiss Local' but now McCain's done it again, rebranding his campaign wagon the 'Kiss My Ass Coach'. No one expected the new kow-towing Republican candidate to bend over so far as to hire the very same attack dogs that savaged his own 2004 campaign for the Republican nomination; but that's exactly what he did!
Swift boat slanderers have hit back at McCain with headlines such as: "McCain Adopts Coloreds Ad-Nan and don't give this POW Looney the Red Button", "Scare Tacticians have all been bought up by the Mcchine Macane." and "Caindadate McCane says that he loves reminiscing with the old boys."
Sometimes they replay the most brutal of the ads and try to put Hillary, Obama and McCrone in them.
Sadie Calumni, head ad shark revealed a few of the preliminary campaign plans:
"The first idea we're toying with is the 'Hillary will drive you to be unfaithful to your wife!' campaign. We think we can get Monica to wear the denim dress with presidential knee pads, cry real tears and tell how lonely Bill was. Then she'll look into the camera with those big brown eyes and say: 'Do you want this cold bitch as your president?!'
"Second we have 'Obama, Osama'. We're trying to convince the voters that there's really little difference in the two. We're even considering hiring a Bin Laden look alike claiming Obama was his best pupil in suicide bomber pre-school.
"McCrone's the tough one! Honest,working class, full of bright new ideas! We only hope voters stay away from TheSpoof.com where McCrone concentrates his campaign literature and speeches. That clever slogan: Low Class in Two Lands will be hard to beat. John suggested we try No Class in All Fifty States for him but we fear it would be seen as copycatting that political genius, ET MCCrone."